So it's almost the end of the year. Exams are approaching, as is the end of the year and the beginning of uncertainty for me.

Most of the tutors discuss not the students who will pass, but those who will fail. It's interesting that in most educational situations, when the student passes, it is all their own work, but if they fail, it is the teacher's fault. In ESOL it can be very different. There are plenty of students whose failure is obviously attributable to their lack of attendance or, when they do attend, their failure to contribute positively to classes. These are usually the students who complain when they find they have not been entered for particular exams. The ones who are here all the time, but who simply find the next level of attainment too difficult to achieve in a year (why are they on the course? Usually because they've already passed the exams at the level they should be learning- often the certificate is from another college, sometimes all we can do is wonder how on earth they passed the exam, and wish we could meet the teacher who got them through it), tend to understand that they are not ready.
The lack of understanding on the part of the generally-non-attending students can be staggering. CF the student who asked me (after the deadline for entering students had passed) why she couldn't take the reading and writing papers and have an extra hour to complete each one, because then she was sure she would pass them.

As for myself, this represents the end of my first full academic year of teaching. I've discovered a lot about myself, I think. Most notably, I've had it brought home to me how easily your professional knowledge base can get rusty. 7407 has helped me become much more self-aware as a teacher. I notice what I'm doing in the classroom more- by which I mean such things as body language.

However, I've also discovered how demotivating a lack of job security can be. I have been working to complete the course and to get my students through the exams because I want to achieve good results in both. That said, I've felt that some of my spark has gone because, for all my hard work, the end of the academic year will bring a lot of changes, and with so many other teachers with more experience looking for work, those changes may not be positive. I love teaching. I want to keep teaching, for all the frustrations and moments where all you want to do is bang your head against the desk (also known as IT with Entry 2D). I may well end up back in admin work. There was a reason I changed careers. It's depressing to think that, although both I and another student on my course have worked so hard to complete, and have taken on jobs for the department that nobody else would take, we still aren't being offered work next year. One of the permanent staff is moving to Wales. This may mean a post becoming vacant. But the department's management have made no noises about replacing her, at least not to me.

The upshot of all this is that as well as preparing students for exams, and completing the last of my assignments for 7407, I am also spending a substantial amount of my time applying for work. If nothing else, it makes it easier to understand how difficult it can be for students with outside worries to have their work affected. When you have this kind of uncertainty looming over you, you may be able to work, but you won't work nearly as enthusiastically.

Part of this is about seeing the point in what you are doing. If I can't complete my qualification, then part of me wonders what the point is. Similarly, for students who can't find work, there may seem like little point in improving their basic skills, if even when they improve they are still not successful. I experienced this kind of demotivation when teaching Employability. However, I've seen it before, when I taught at a secondary school. The kids I taught there came from families where unemployment was rife among the adults, even those who had GCSEs or A-levels. If their own parents were out of work, and they had finished school, then, as far as most of these kids were concerned, there was no point in trying hard in their education. Seeing a good reason to do what you're asked to do is vitally important. This is why I always try to give one. Luckily for my students, passing their exams is a very good reason indeed.